Uncertainty
by butterflylover123
Summary: One ordinary mission goes dreadfully wrong as Deeks is taken hostage, will he be saved?
1. Chapter 1

**Pacing the length the room like she had done for the past half an hour, Kensi's mind raced through everything that had happened to day. She didn't** **know how to process everything, she didn't** **know what to do. It had started off as normally as one of her days can considering her line of work, dead body, list of suspects- the usual. Sadly not everything happened the way it usually does, whilst her and Deeks were paying a visit to a suspect's house things went wrong. They were already prepared for the visit of the NCIS agents so they were outnumbered, from that minute things went from bad to worse. Thankfully Kensi managed to escape but Deeks was not so lucky, he gave himself up in order to protect Kensi. She knew that something like this would happen eventually, it was inevitable. There is always this risk when you become romantically involved with a co-worker. But Kensi and Deeks were different they weren't** **like any other couple who had recently began a relationship, although they hadn't** **been together for a significant amount of time, there feelings for each other were stronger than most couples who have been together from decades. But with such powerful love comes many costs.**

 **Deeks was taken captive by the Mexican cartel who had a serious axe to grind with NCIS:LA for recently convicting dozens of their members for a series of murders and they had decided to take revenge my murdering one of their operatives.**

 **For the next four hours all government agencies were frantically trying to assist NCIS with finding their missing agent, with this happening they had to take a closer look into detective Marty Deeks' life, with this many revelations were made and if Hetty and Granger didn't** **know about their relationship, they sure did now. So not only was Kensi unsure whether she still had a future with Deeks, but also if she had a future with NCIS.**

 **Those four hours was the longest period of time Kensi could ever remember and she has been in many stressful situations. Now she finally understood why Sam and Michelle no longer worked together, its gut wrenching enough as it is when a colleague is put into life threatening situations, a feeling Kensi was all too familiar with, having gone through it with Dom and Renko. But with it being with Deeks it was unbearable, Kensi hadn't** **felt this helpless and insecure since the tragic passing of her father.**

 **When it came to light of her romantic involvement with detective Deeks, she was removed from the case at hand due to her personal involvement, Kensi understood that this was the standard procedure that she herself has put in place herself, but that didn't** **mean she was happy with their decision or the fact that she had been banished to the boat shed for the rest of the afternoon and a pile load of paperwork she needed to catch up- like she was going to have the concentration to complete it. What made it worse that she was forbidden from contacting anyone so she was in the dark about everything, she had been left with a not so friendly officer and the promise that if anything happens they will let her know.**

 **She was snapped out of her thoughts when the officers phone began to ring, this phone call could only mean one thing Deeks had been found, whether he was alive or not was a different matter. The agent passed the phone to Kensi who tentatively pressed it to hear, fearful of what she was about to hear.**

 **"** **Miss Blye, there has been some developments regarding Mr Deeks." Spoke the voice on the other end of the line, the voice belonged to none other than the infamous Henrietta Lange and to true to form she didn't** **beat about the bush. From that moment it was like a whirlwind happened, one that Kensi couldn't** **remember. Previously hour's stretched on forever for Kensi and from that point on everything was a blur, until she found herself waiting again, this time in a hospital waiting room, where the smell of antiseptic filled every square metre and was so strong it encompassed Kensi, as once again the uncertainty of her future with Deeks consumed her. Since she had been at the hospital all she had been told was 'Detective Deeks is still alive for now." It was the 'for now' that really worried her, it was as if everyone knew what was about to happen but no one wanted to tell her.**


	2. Chapter 2

After consuming several cups of coffee Kensi was jittery with caffeine, so yet again she resulted to pacing the length of the waiting room, that was filled with many people who were also waiting reluctantly to find out whether their loved ones would be returning home with them, this was something Kensi was trying not to think about because as the more time passed it was looking more and more likely that she would be returning home to Monty alone. Kensi was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice when three familiar figures entered the room, it was only when a warm hand came into contact with her shoulder she was aware of their presence. There stood G Callen, Sam Hanna and Henrietta Lang all looking at her tentatively as if she could shatter into a million pieces at any given point. And at this point Kensi too thought it could happen any second now.

Hetty was the first to speak, "Miss Blye is it possible I could borrow several minutes of your time there are some pressing matters that have to be discussed."

"Can it not wait a little longer Hetty? As I would like to be here in case there are any updates on Deeks' condition". Kensi replied, knowing all too well that the conversation she will have with Hetty could not end well whatever happens and she had had enough bad news for a lifetime never mind a day since waking up this morning.

"It's alright Kens, me and G will stay here and if anything changes we will call you." Sam pointed out, and Kensi knew that he meant well but she really didn't want to have that talk with Hetty right now.

"Thank you Mr Hana that's very helpful of you, I promise to keep it as brief possible Miss Blye so you can get back to waiting for you're…," Hetty paused trying to find the correct word to describe Deeks' relationship with Kensi. "Partner." With that being said Hetty started purposefully walking towards the door with Kensi following sheepishly behind. Once they were in an empty office that Hetty had scared some young Doctor into giving them, Hetty sat down and stared at the other vacant chair until Kensi followed suit. "Now Miss Blye as you are aware"

"Before you start Hetty can I just say, I accept any sort of punishment that you are going to give me or if you even decide to fire me for involving myself with my partner, but please don't do the same to Deeks, he doesn't understand and he hasn't seen what can happen when co-worker's become involved. And I am truly sorry for not telling you about the two of us it was irresponsible." Kensi blurted out, knowing full well that if she didn't say it know she never would.

What Kensi wasn't expecting was the response she received. "Miss Blye do you think I was born yesterday, I have been well aware of the relationship you have with Mr Deeks for quite a while now, why else do you think I haven't asked him to become an agent for NCIS, whilst he is a liaison officer for the LAPD there is nothing prohibiting your relationship. I have never said anything about it, because there is nothing to be said on the matter it hasn't affected your work ethic and it hasn't threatened yourselves or those around you. Yes I know Deeks was captured because he was saving you but I know full well that he would have done exactly the same for Mr Callen and Mr Hanna."

"Oh, then what exactly is it that we need to discuss if you don't mind me asking." A shocked Kensi replied.

"It has to do with the very likely possibility that we have a mole in our midst, Miss Blye." Hetty stated.


	3. Chapter 3

Kensi gasped with shock following the revelation, "a m..mole?" Kensi stuttered. "What makes you think that Hetty?"

"Yes Miss Blye, as that is the only way that the cartel could have known about you and Mr Deeks going to the suspect's house. The investigation into this is highly classified and only the required personnel will be privy to this, Mr Hanna, Mr Callen, Mr Beale and Miss Jones have already been briefed on the matter," Hetty calmly stated as if she was merely discussing the weather.

As she got she stood up and headed towards the door, Kensi thought she heard Hetty say she was going to investigate the selection of teas available in the cafeteria but she couldn't be sure as she was still reeling from the bombshell that Hetty had just dropped. Her world was spinning and she wanted nothing else than to get off it. How could she miss this? How could a highly trained special agent like herself miss something this big, this was practically what she was trained to do. Kensi was beginning to wonder just how much more she could take in the space of one day, her partner in many different things had been taken from her and now his chance of survival was hanging by a thread, someone she knew and trusted with her life isn't who she thought they were and she wasn't as good at her job as she thought she was, maybe this was her breaking point.

Deciding that overthinking things wasn't going to get her anywhere she left the small office in search of Callen and Sam, having come to the conclusion that silence wasn't her friend right now as her brain decided to fill the silence with self-doubting thoughts. Just as she entered the room and found her colleagues looking about as good as she felt, there was a flurry of activity as nurses and doctors came hurrying towards Deeks' room and then she heard the most painful sound she had ever heard a flat line and she didn't need to be a medical genius to know what that meant, it meant that as of right Deeks' heart was no longer beating. And in that moment of realisation her legs gave way and she was on the floor, her body shaking as sobs escaped from mouth- this was her breaking point.

Kensi wasn't aware of what happened after that, it was as if the rest of the world carried on and she stayed put, the next thing she was aware of was having a warm drink placed between her hands and Sam's arms enveloping her into a comforting hug as she sobbed against his body. Kensi previously was a strong believer that you shouldn't convey any sort of emotion to others but after today that went straight out the window. Kensi remained like this in Sam's arms, with Callen and Hetty casting her concerned looks and passers by sending her sympathetic looks, until the news on Deeks' condition was delivered.

Eventually a very official looking doctor made his way towards them, and Kensi willed him to go to another family because right now no news is good news and she knew for sure she couldn't handle any more bad news today, she couldn't bear to imagine what her life would be like without the crazy detective, they had only just began their adventure, they still had so many things to do, they wanted to see the world together and have their own ninja assassins together and Kensi knew she couldn't go on without him and in the moment she realised something she had never told him she loved him. He didn't know how much he meant to her…

Her thoughts were interrupted when the doctor reached them. "Hello, is one of you Miss Blye as she has been listed as the emergency contact for Marty Deeks," the doctor inquired.

"That's me," Kensi replied cautiously, fearing the words that the doctor was about to say.


End file.
